Monday, January 2, 2017

Bad Day NOT a Bad Mom

"You're such a bad mother. Come on, other parents do this and some have more children than you. 

Some parents have children with worse special needs.

Everyone's children get colds and the flu, pull it together.

Why are you crying?

Your baby just had a blow out and you cut off her clothes and throw them out. Why can't you be more patient like other parents and carefully take them off and wash them.

Why does the constant need to wipe the nose of both your children overwhelm you? Your husband is going to be off paternity leave in February and you can't even handle the day without him. What are you going to do THEN?

Wow! You shouldn't have any more children.


Why are you crying? Your baby is looking at you.

Why does the sound of your baby crying after a 2 minute nap for the 50th time today frustrate you? Go clean her nose and snuggle her like other parents do.

Why do the screams of your Autistic child make you feel the way you do? 

Now you are alone crying on your pillow. Your children need you, forget yourself and attend to them.

You are soak and wet, dirty, sweaty, wearing your husbands clothes and didn't cook dinner.. wow! he's going to be so disappointed in you when he gets home. You didn't even comb your hair or brush your teeth yet and it's 4pm. Other mothers do it, why can't you?

Don't even think about asking a friend for help. Look at you. Yuck! 

If you talk about it, people are going to agree and tell you to get it together.

You are a disappointment.

Why did you ever think you were wife or mother material?

You know, it is easier not to live..........."                        LIES, LIES, LIES!


http://www.thefreshquotes.com/cancer-quotes-world-cancer-day/

These are the thoughts that have invaded my brain today and made me cry and cry some more.  I write about it because helps me see which thoughts are lies and truth. 

What I've learned:
  • We all have different stress levels and we need to be sensitive to the stress levels of others.
  • My children chose me as their mother.
  • Raising a child with special needs makes a family special.
  • Through my daughters Autism diagnosis I have learned who my true friends and family are.
  •  I have a plate that I can handle.
  • There is no need to compare with other parents. 
  • We are not given more than we can handle, but when we feel we can't handle anything, that's where our loved ones come in: BUT you GO to the hospital when you feel you can't control your brain anymore. 

This is what my postpartum depression does to me. When intrusive thoughts come, a friend told me to add, "..but I am loved."
I know that I am loved but my broken brain makes me forget that sometimes.

 I am not a perfect wife, mother, friend, daughter, sister, etc but I am trying my best and I love my husband, my children, family and friends.

I also love my online support groups with other Special Needs, Autism Spectrum Disorder(ASD) parents, other mothers suffering with PPD, anxiety and mothers with new babies. I can ask them anything and we can laugh and cry together while discussing our own children. I found these resources of help for myself through facebook by typing in Autism or something else in the facebook search engine and joining groups. It has been another source of help
Anyone can do it and you should if you feel alone. Seek all the help you can! You are not alone!








3 comments:

  1. Things that helped me through pregnancy early postpartum was taking 3000 omega 3 it has put me back into almost my normal life style again helping to relieve it. I know drink the mamma chia drink of 2500 omegas plus my normal pregnancy vitamins.

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    1. Thank you. My Postpartum Depression hit one month after the baby was born. I couldn't do it anymore and wanted to take my life. I was sent to a Mental Health Hospital to meet with doctors and now I am on Zoloft. It takes the edge off but I still have hard days. Some days I can be home all day and do all the mommy things with my children, but some days my broken brain takes over and it becomes really really really hard.

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  2. Postpartum Depression is real mental illness and sometimes exercise, eating healthy, and taking vitamins just doesn't work. It is a medical condition that people need to seek help for. I am so glad that you found something that works for you!! Sending all my love.

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