Why are we so afraid of opening up about our problems, struggles, or trials?
Is it fear of judgement?
Is it hard to be open about our personal life?
Is it because we think no one wants to hear it?
Is it because we think no one will care?
Is it because of the stigma that surrounds struggles that people face?
Will people think we are crazy or are seeking attention?
Or is it all of the above?
Is it fear of judgement?
Is it hard to be open about our personal life?
Is it because we think no one wants to hear it?
Is it because we think no one will care?
Is it because of the stigma that surrounds struggles that people face?
Will people think we are crazy or are seeking attention?
Or is it all of the above?
My depression hit me one month after giving birth and it came on strong all at once. I hid my struggle with depression from everyone. I was confused, scared of being judged, scared of not having it all together, all of the above, and it almost cost me my life. My intrusive thoughts brought on suicidal thoughts. I decided to try to hold on at least until my 6 week appointment. My doctor noticed I wasn't myself and said I looked awful. The mistake was even waiting that long to get help, but I didn't know what was happening to what I call my broken brain.
Some people have told me to just get over it, or this a new mom thing, don't talk about it, or keep some secrets for yourself. Comments like that are parts of the stigma, why people don't open their mouths and get help.
I went to a support group last week. When I got to share my story I mentioned some things people say to people with mental illness. I brought my journal and wrote down some of the things the women running the group said that helped me. They said, "the 3 most common complications after giving birth are bleeding, infection, and suicide. What if you are not fine? What if you don't make it through? The barrier to communication is false reassurance. So what do we say to people with mental illness? We can say, "yes, you are depressed, but you are a worthy human being." Use the good in a person, not external forces, like how the weather is beautiful so you must feel good today too. Don't try to fix the person. Listen to them, love them, watch their kids, and fold their laundry."
The amount of support you offer to someone will either hinder or speed up any progress involving healing or finding coping strategies.
My friend Shantelle said, "It's sad to think that other people are in that place right now. They'd rather die than tell anyone".
I went to a support group last week. When I got to share my story I mentioned some things people say to people with mental illness. I brought my journal and wrote down some of the things the women running the group said that helped me. They said, "the 3 most common complications after giving birth are bleeding, infection, and suicide. What if you are not fine? What if you don't make it through? The barrier to communication is false reassurance. So what do we say to people with mental illness? We can say, "yes, you are depressed, but you are a worthy human being." Use the good in a person, not external forces, like how the weather is beautiful so you must feel good today too. Don't try to fix the person. Listen to them, love them, watch their kids, and fold their laundry."
The amount of support you offer to someone will either hinder or speed up any progress involving healing or finding coping strategies.
By the time I got help, I'm sure I was days away from ending it all. I didn't have a plan, but I knew if I didn't open up with my doctor, I wouldn't be here much longer. It's because I want to live that I opened my mouth. How could I let those intrusive uncontrollable, suicidal thoughts that come from nowhere win?! I was suffering. I hope you will get help too when you can't hold it anymore.
Yes, I know it's easier to say than to do. There would be bad days when I told my husband I'm done. It's those days he tried extra and tried and tried and tried and never gave up on me.
The day I shared my story, a girl online wrote me and explained how she was having a meltdown, how she thought she was crazy. When she got online she saw and read my post. Then she wrote me telling me she feels a lot of the same things. She hid it for 7 months. She called that day for an appointment to meet with her doctor.
A couple of weeks ago a General Authority came to our Stake Conference at the chapel. There were a couple hundred people there. As I was sitting there I saw a woman and her husband with their son. As I was sitting there a thought came into my head to write her a note. I wrote that she was a beautiful mother and I talked about my blog a little and asked her not to be offended by my note. I handed it to her as she was going out into the hallway. I waited about 5 minutes, then I went to see her. When she saw me she said, "I just need to hug you. Thank you, I really needed that. I have postpartum depression too!" We cried together and talked about how amazing the Lord is, that out of all the people that was there we ended up meeting. We've never talked before. We spent a little bit of time relating our stories with each other. How similar hers is to mine, except she's been on her medication for about a year. I found another friend.
Yes, I know it's easier to say than to do. There would be bad days when I told my husband I'm done. It's those days he tried extra and tried and tried and tried and never gave up on me.
The day I shared my story, a girl online wrote me and explained how she was having a meltdown, how she thought she was crazy. When she got online she saw and read my post. Then she wrote me telling me she feels a lot of the same things. She hid it for 7 months. She called that day for an appointment to meet with her doctor.
A couple of weeks ago a General Authority came to our Stake Conference at the chapel. There were a couple hundred people there. As I was sitting there I saw a woman and her husband with their son. As I was sitting there a thought came into my head to write her a note. I wrote that she was a beautiful mother and I talked about my blog a little and asked her not to be offended by my note. I handed it to her as she was going out into the hallway. I waited about 5 minutes, then I went to see her. When she saw me she said, "I just need to hug you. Thank you, I really needed that. I have postpartum depression too!" We cried together and talked about how amazing the Lord is, that out of all the people that was there we ended up meeting. We've never talked before. We spent a little bit of time relating our stories with each other. How similar hers is to mine, except she's been on her medication for about a year. I found another friend.
By opening up we can offer support.
I believe people care. I believe our Heavenly Father cares and wants us to get help and help others. He wants us to live and not to vote against the preciousness of life by ending it.
There is help!
There is help!
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